May 13, 2013

Perfect Match | The Peacock

It seems the moment you think you can relax things pick up again. This has felt like a never-ending Monday.

I've been fairly busy the last couple weeks with work and family events. I even went on a mini-shopping trip so that I could do a new product write-up. Where might that post be? Unwritten and still in my head. Where are the products? On my counter! Agh, so frustrating not using them… Actually, I have been using one of the products. I'm sure you won’t mind.

I will be honest… there has been something else on my mind. Lucky for you and everyone around me, I am now coming off my obsessive high.
A ring.
Well in truth it’s not just the ring that I have been obsessing about…
I lost you didn't I?

Let’s start at the beginning….

For me dating has never been casual or without purpose. It has always meant the journey of selecting a permanent partner.  This is the way I was raise and frankly when people hear me talk about marriage (particularly men) they get nervous. I understand that for a lot of people the initial reasons for dating are not to get married and that’s great if that’s what you’re looking for.

My mother was never like Elizabeth Bennett’s (Pride and Prejudice) mom, but I kid you not when I say that at times she reminds me of her. Being raised in this environment I began picturing my perfect hubbie early on. As I got older I modified ‘that’ perfect husband to be an ideal.

I don’t remember what movie this is from but here it goes: If you made a list to describe your perfect man and honestly looked at the list, could you say that you deserve him? The honest answer would be no.

Unless you’re perfect, in that case… I dislike you. Kidding.
The perfect man or ideal man for us might be someone we don't expected.

I would describe myself as:
Confident, ambitious, sporadically generous (I’m usually not very but when I go give it’s too much), encouraging, easily angered, easy to make friends, generally not confrontational…, willing to let others take control but mess it up… I will show you how to run the show; I can be super sensitive, good intentioned, opinionated, and hasty, I like expensive things… and I’m not too keen on DIY projects.
So that’s me in a nutshell.

I was never the type of girl who knew exactly what I wanted for MY Bridezilla! I don’t think I would be and I hope I'm not. I strongly believe the day should be shared big day. It wasn't until I met Mr. B, who told me ‘I knew what I wanted’… therefore unknowingly challenged me to think about it, that I started to form structured thoughts on the matter.

Note: I am not engaged but after 3 (May 17 is 4) romantic… *cough* rational years of commitment and togetherness I thought it would be a good idea to put some thoughts on paper/webpage.

Before we get into my wish list I think it's beneficial to get to know us as a couple.
I will first share my boring love story with you:

A year before I started college I was in a relationship that ended badly. I wouldn't say that Mr. J and I had issues as a couple but both families clashed and it was his that were in the wrong. The arguments directly affect the relationship on many levels. Although many people don’t see the importance of their partner’s family, you are marrying/committing yourself to them through your partner.

I wasn't looking for a relationship and I didn't feel ready. According to my parents I wasn't allowed to date till I was 18... and of course I never attempted to date before that because teenagers always listen to their parents. Now that I had reached the ‘correct’ age with a severely messed up relationship at the back of my mind, my heart wasn't available to start anew.

I met Mr. B in college. I was in first year and he was in third year (last year). I would label Mr. B as a serious intellectual type, aka nerd but he doesn't like that title, and I am/was the fun loving crazy unpredictable (not is relationships but day-to-day decisions) type. Mr. B was a Teachers Aid and assisted the minor years in some subjects. He would hold an open class to discuss topics that were not clearly explained in class. This is where I met him. I will begin by pointing out that the purpose of the class was to ask questions and review material. The first class I attended was where I formed my first impression and dislike for Mr. B. It turned out that this ‘Nerd’ was a smart ass and wasn't very helpful. I asked a question, because I didn't know the answer, and he regurgitated the question back. I still can’t get over it. He firmly stands by the belief that I fell inlove with him at first sight…

Months after our first hiccup which apparently he didn't realize had annoyed me and to this day continues to not address the matter we ended up going to the gym together thanks to a mutual friend. I think by now you know that I hate the gym but I was a little chubby and I wanted to accompany my friend.

One day our mutual friend didn't show up and we decided to go together anyway. We walked around a track for 3 hours and my opinion of him changed. Looking back there was no need for us to walk so long and the next day my body was hurting but we apparently had some chemistry and didn't notice the time.

 As I said before Mr. B is a smart cookie he was given some pretty impressive awards. He was invited to receive one of those awards in Toronto, a couple hours away from home, and asked me to come with him. I understood that to be a date and said no.

Now, my parents were and still are very strict so after I said no I mentioned it my mom and grandma thinking they were going to applaud me. To my surprise they immediately said I should have gone and chastised me. Taking this as a sign I decided the next time, technically the 3rd time, he asked I was going to say yes.

We started dating in May we have no idea what the exact date was so we chose May 17, 2009 and overall my relationship has been smooth sailing… but there are things that have come up that test us daily.

I think I will reserve the ring talk for a little later!

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